“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much
you care.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
Empathy and sympathy are two very different concepts. As humans, we often confuse one with the
other. When we are trying to help
students learn to be resilient, we (as adults) must offer empathy, not
sympathy. What is the difference, you
may ask. Empathy is essentially
understanding and caring offered when we truly know or try to understand what
the child is going through. Sympathy on
the other hand is that feeling of care and concern that accompanies trying to
make someone feel better. Empathetic
adults understand and may have experienced the same thing the child is going
through, but the child has to learn how to make him/herself feel better. Sometimes, for example, that comes through
having consequences or making amends. We
have a tendency to want to lessen the consequences of poor decisions by
children (that’s sympathy).
Children who have loving, empathetic adults in their lives
learn to take risks and struggle successfully, but children with only
sympathetic adults learn to feel helpless and struggle without success. Empathy is caring in a powerful way and
children want the adults in their lives to be loving and powerful people. We should all take stock in our responses to
children to see how much empathy we offer, as opposed to sympathy. Making that shift from sympathy to empathy is
one sure way to help develop resiliency in children.
If you are interested in the science of empathy there are
some interesting perspectives at:
Have a great week!
Mrs. Baier
